Lady Darbanville,

I forgot to mention - thank you for the positive comments below

Max

ROTFL! You missed it I guess. It was there

Thank you both for your comments and good luck with your work. the long and the short of it

I don't mind at all, and I agree. I joined this site to improve my writing, all valid thoughts and opinions are considered. Nit picking punctuation and grammar, whilst useful to some degree, can come across like having an essay marked at school!
It amazes me how widely views differ, what works for some clearly doesn't work for others - and in many different ways, on many differing levels.
I'm not sure about the validity of opinions of those reading outside their preferred sphere - how can one objectively review a story if they don't 'like' the genre? I wouldn't go into a bookshop and buy something that didn't interest me...
I read one story the other day and my opinion was that there was little I could say, other than praise it. For those interested it was Clementine's Shadow.
On another note, I have substantially revised The Sister over the past few days, hopefully for the better!

Max

My dear Fred, my instincts were to try to address your perceptions, so I tried to make it clearer that the reason she's put up with Mrs. Ewing's bible reading sessions all this time is because she understands the old lady is lonely, and wants company. Hopefully, her "good side" more obvious.

And I removed her her angry musings on what would happen to her if the frackers ruined Eden Falls, and kept the focus more clearly, I hope, on beloved places destroyed for someone's profit motive.

These changes were already in place when Harry read the story, so who knows? Thank you again Fred, for your dialog with me about your review.

Was tt name in there from the start? - can't believe I missed it.
Roger Willey... that's up there with LynGerie......
Don't tell me -. the knight riding off will be Sir Cumcise....

One man's meat is another man's poison, otherwise we'd all be trying to marry Kate Moss.

The problem with us as writers that we often are elated by - but don't quite trust - a good critique, because we don't know if it's the truth. By the same token, we are cast down by adverse criticism - again we don't know if it's the truth.

I'd suggest none are truths except in a narrow sense. No-one really knows anything, reviewers often don't understand motivations, and too much advice is more harmful than too little.

So what do you do? Go with your instincts.

While rightly pointing out 1 stereotype here, you are fomenting another in the second point.
Surely the answer is, When in St Tropez do as the Saints...
You can't visit/live in another country & expect to impose yr way of life on it.
The burkhaed (?? the full blackout) woman in St Trop in yr exapmle - I presume it's hypothetical - wd only be getting the same treatment as a topless western sunbather wd get in the Gulf.
There is a simple answer - if the woman can't live without her burkha, don't go to St Tropez...

Love that first point! It's mostly the media doing the diverting - a bit of trouble in an Arab state, slip 'Al Qaeda' into your article or report and that should see to it that the rebels get no sympathy from us, thank you very much. Trouble makers, the lot of them!

Your second point - LOL. But one can put up with the piles when there's such a wonderful, free, NHS. Oh, and of course, when one lives in the 'Free World' - you know, the place where you can choose to which school you send your kid (postcode permitting), where women can expose as much flesh as they wish in the street when the sun shines (but will get arrested if they cover everything but their eyes in St Tropez), and despite there being no jobs in your area, you can move wherever you want to work (chances improved if your parents were well enough off to pay for your degree and you can afford the London rents).





All Free Wills gratefully received and the favour returned

I agree with what Lady D'Abanville has to say here. Sometimes it's not easy to come up with suggestions for opening chapters, because they're already brilliant, as good as they're going to get or so awful the only suggestion is to start again, perhaps from a more interesting character's point of view. However, to offer consistently bland, if complementary reviews, with none or only vague suggestions isn't helpful. But, with other reviews that miss the mark in different ways, this is how it is on YWO. I hope Cambodia is following this, though, and will start providing more assertive reviews.

On the other hand, responsible reviewing online needs to take account that some of us may be rather sensitive to critique. I recall one of these message board discussions where the issue was essentially being wary of posting a review that might trigger someone to suicide. We need to say it how we see it in our reviews and give specific suggestions where we can, but I think it is responsible to begin a review on YWO with some sort of disclaimer, no matter how tedious this may usually seem - e.g., 'Please accept or disregard as you see fit, blah-blah-blah'. I begin reviews with 'My response -' just to show that the review is unique to me and acknowledging I may have missed the point. But I live on the other side of the world to most of you, so I don't expect to find you at my front door with an axe any time soon. (Could be a plot worth developing.)

Re: Syria - even moderates in the country are supporting the Al Qaeda trained fighters who have joined up with Jabhat al-Nusra.

Many Syrians want an end to Assad's dictatorship, yet have abandoned hope of help from the West, so they have no choice.


All Free Wills gratefully received and the favour returned

I can see your point, Bushman, but this particular reviewer never seems to have any suggestions at all for improvement.

Even a reader who is not an experienced reviewer can say what does and doesn't work in a story, although perhaps struggles to say why.

I also hate the sycophantic 'your a much better writer than me' bit - how many writers receiving such a remark would disagree? It's just buttering up so that no-one complains. Such reviews don't help anyone see the faults in his/her work.


All Free Wills gratefully received and the favour returned

Thanks for your suggestions I'll have a look though and make some changes. Glad you enjoyed it!

Actually I think you're being slightly harsh on Cambodia. Reviewing isn't as easy as it appears. The use of a template isn't such a bad idea if at least you can give the author the benefit of some advice. Truth is, from my somewhat limited experience, only about one in five reviews are worth the credit. I must confess myself to sometimes struggling to find the delicate balance between encouragement and outright condemnation. Better perhaps to err on the positive even if it is rather vapid. Ian