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Tyler Wills...
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rosefitzrobert
 11 Apr 2012, 23:41 #147292 Reply To Post
Forgive me for not posting this thank you sooner, but I found your review so devastating that i am rewriting, yet again, the opening of my novel.

It's one more or give up the whole thing. If this is still "too complicated" (you should have seen the draft I arrived here with months ago) I am worried that the simplicity required will leave me with something that fails my purpose in writing this, so it hardly matters whether anyone likes it or not.

It's not just what you said that so affected me; it's that it came from a person of such obvious intelligence and insight. It was impossible to dismiss you as just some idiot.
Tyler Wills
 11 Apr 2012, 23:48 #147294 Reply To Post
ROSE

Please do not give it up it is such a great concept it deserves to be completed. Could be that you are trying to get too much in too soon. I really enjoyed the parts as I think mentioned. So there is creativity there that needs to be nurtured. To give up here would be such a waste and you would actually be letting down the story which has to have a life not yourself. All it needs is a little organising!

PS and I am just some idiot.

“It is almost impossible to succeed unless you have someone who believes in your dream, even when you no longer do.” - Michael J. Sullivan

I believe in it - so sort it out & finish it, it does not have to be spoon-fed, just a little clearer. Make the fracking a hook - suspense and get to details later.
This post was last edited by Tyler Wills, 12 Apr 2012, 00:34
rosefitzrobert
 12 Apr 2012, 00:48 #147296 Reply To Post
Quote: Tyler Wills, Wednesday, 11 Apr 2012 23:48
ROSE

Please do not give it up it is such a great concept it deserves to be completed. Could be that you are trying to get too much in too soon. I really enjoyed the parts as I think mentioned. So there is creativity there that needs to be nurtured. To give up here would be such a waste and you would actually be letting down the story which has to have a life not yourself. All it needs is a little organising!

PS and I am just some idiot.

“It is almost impossible to succeed unless you have someone who believes in your dream, even when you no longer do.” - Michael J. Sullivan

I believe in it - so sort it out & finish it, it does not have to be spoon-fed, just a little clearer. Make the fracking a hook - suspense and get to details later.


Tyler, forgive me for involving you in my emotional turmoil. It was so wrong of me, and you are clearly so decent.
PERRY
 12 Apr 2012, 13:45 #147317 Reply To Post
Sorry for slipping in here, Lynn. I believe my first review on L'Anachroniste brought up what an impediment to the story "fracking" could be.
However, it is a very important subject. They're trying it on in Ireland now, and it isn't going down well - unintentional pun.
Perhaps you could have the specifics of the town meeting as a prologue, so that anyone who couldn't be annoyed with the details could get right into the story - only investing in a summation of the subject.
Tolkien did this, as have Eddings and many great fantasy writers. Eventually the reader gets curious and returns to fill themselves in.
DO NOT BY ANY MEANS RETREAT FROM THIS STORY. I WANT TO HAVE IT ON MY BOOKSHELF.
Tyler Wills
 12 Apr 2012, 13:50 #147318 Reply To Post
And mine. Plus I can just see the likes of Julia Roberts up that tree.

It's those damned Chinese P, they're marketing the beads which are used to create the fluid they pump down there like nobody's business, and U great bloody SA are buying it in tanker loads. Daily.
This post was last edited by Tyler Wills, 12 Apr 2012, 13:54
PERRY
 12 Apr 2012, 14:04 #147320 Reply To Post
All an inscrutable military gambit, you know. There's a tiny EMP charge in every bead waiting to take out the US defence - or they all gang together like nanobots to become Samurai Transformers and take over the economy ... er, no - already done ... I mean take over the weapons. It's Sin-net.
rosefitzrobert
 12 Apr 2012, 15:35 #147324 Reply To Post
Quote: PERRY, Thursday, 12 Apr 2012 13:45
Sorry for slipping in here, Lynn. I believe my first review on L'Anachroniste brought up what an impediment to the story "fracking" could be.
However, it is a very important subject. They're trying it on in Ireland now, and it isn't going down well - unintentional pun.
Perhaps you could have the specifics of the town meeting as a prologue, so that anyone who couldn't be annoyed with the details could get right into the story - only investing in a summation of the subject.
Tolkien did this, as have Eddings and many great fantasy writers. Eventually the reader gets curious and returns to fill themselves in.
DO NOT BY ANY MEANS RETREAT FROM THIS STORY. I WANT TO HAVE IT ON MY BOOKSHELF.


As you know Perry, if not for fracking, I wouldn't even be writing this story. I'd probably still be doing radio journalism. But I am really very grateful to Tyler. I am writing a new version that I hope really brings out my MC as a role model for young women. She's not an airhead who pops out babies and doesn't even know how to call a chimney sweep. If she were being stalked by a psychopathic abusive ex-husband, if getting a restraining order didn't work, she'd get herself an Uzi with an extra clip, not a bottle of sleeping pills. No woman with scars so bad that she couldn't wear a bathing suit would be convicted.

I'm sure I lack the skill to be "subtle" or "intriguing" - most definitely my stomach turns at the word "pacey" but I'll keep going anyway, because I am ornery.

Back to writing.

PS: The frackers are in Ireland too? Where's the IRA when you need 'em? Dammit fellas, defend your beautiful country!
This post was last edited by rosefitzrobert, 12 Apr 2012, 15:52
Tyler Wills
 12 Apr 2012, 15:46 #147325 Reply To Post
I'm getting confused as to who I'm replying to now! But WAY TO GO! Rose, knew you wouldn't let Emma down.
Might get to see Julia up that tree after all...she's got the balls to do it.

PS. we've got Tom Hanks here (Malta) at the moment, filming in the sea tank, he's portraying a US Navy Captain. I'll see if I can pop over and get Julia's number.
This post was last edited by Tyler Wills, 12 Apr 2012, 15:51
sunrise
 12 Apr 2012, 16:40 #147328 Reply To Post
Lyn, can I suggest a change of avatar might help?
PERRY
 12 Apr 2012, 17:23 #147329 Reply To Post
I have to say, Lyn, I've a picture of Pauley Perrette (Abbey from NCIS) in my head when reading of Emma in your writing. That, incidentally, is close to the ultimate complement. She is the bomb - as these whippersnappers say - and really is qualified in forensic science.

EH? Might help what, sunrise?
This post was last edited by PERRY, 12 Apr 2012, 17:24
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