I was pleased that you enjoyed it. Some corrections mentioned have been implemented as I corrected the novel as a whole but others were new. Some of yr. suggestions as to restructuring sounds better gramatically but shift the focus of the sentence.
And the affection shown between Fel and her Gran and her mother become even more evident later. Fel's mother is the last child and a little self-centered and spoilt so she's very much into her own grief. Her husband adored and spolit her so she's lost without him.
On another note, I was pleased to discover that your story was one of those I originally read and enjoyed when I came to YWO. It is very well-written and that makes your comment of more value.