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ProfessionalCritique
 22 Apr 2011, 12:31 #115448 Reply To Post
Orion are part of the Hatchette publishing group, whose authors include Stephen King, Stephenie Meyer and Ian Rankin.

Each month on YouWriteOn.com editors from Orion and Random House provide an indepth critique of up to three highly rated YouWriteOn Top Ten novel openings, and mini-reviews of the rest of the top ten stories. This aims to assist all authors in their story development by giving feedback as to what editors are looking for in novel submitted to them.



Click here to view the story extract links for the stories reviewed below which are listed under April 1st for 2011
ProfessionalCritique
 22 Apr 2011, 12:33 #115449 Reply To Post
Orion Editor critique of DREAM 3319

Dear Ian Harvey-Brown

Congratulations on being well reviewed by your writing peers at YouWriteOn. I enjoyed reading your early pages of DREAM 3319 and think this marks a promising start. However, I think the material so far needs some re-working. What I hope these editorial notes will do is provide you with some useful pointers as to how you can hone and develop the existing chapters, and what to pay attention to as the novel progresses. My notes take the form of over-arching comments on the main elements of the novel, followed by various page notes to illustrate my points.

Structure:

The structure of your novel seems like it will be quite complex. Not only are their flashbacks, flashforwards and dream sequences, there is also the multi-layered nature of the story given that there are three levels of reality and dream. By having a structure this varied and textured, it should mean that the reader never tires of the main storyline. Rather than following the plot in a linear, chronological fashion, the time frame will jump about, and the plot will be revealed in fragments, much like a jigsaw puzzle. It is this piecemeal approach and gradual feeding of information to the reader that should keep them turning the pages to find out what happens.

Plot:

The story is high-concept and requires a great deal of suspension of disbelief on the behalf of the reader. And my concern was the story didn’t wholly convince me. You didn’t transport me in the way I’d hoped and instead I felt a little distanced from the narrative and from the main character. For example, there were quite a few plot areas that didn’t quite make sense to me as a new reader. Why are people’s dreams monitored rather than their waking actions? Why would the ‘state’ worry about people’s subconscious imagination? After all, what we dream about isn’t something we can control. There needs to be more detail surrounding this if it is to ring true. Also, if Jake is able to enter a dream without official sanction, what is the point of the Dream Maestro? I understand that some of this information will be interwoven as the story goes along and less is definitely more in these early pages, but it still needs to convince if the reader is to remain actively engaged.

The opening chapter was intriguing – you keep the reader guessing as to what is actually happening, and in this way they are actively involved as the drama unfolds. You are also particularly good at ending a chapter on a dramatic note that should have the reader turning the page wanting to know more. In comparison, the second chapter waned in pace and urgency. There was too much focus on describing the setting and providing the context. You need to focus on picking up the pace in this chapter if you are to keep the reader hooked. This scene felt too internalised and there was too much reflection. There needs to be more drama and greater intrigue.

It’s a strong premise but the execution felt quite weak in places. It was depicted in quite a superficial way and almost played for laughs, yet at the same time you class it as a thriller. You need to work at making this slicker, pacier and more urgent if this is to work as a thriller.

While I thought the story was imaginative and has a strong commercial hook, my other concern was that it might seem derivative, as there are of course close parallels with the recent film Inception. It’s important that your story seems original and fresh in its own right, and you really need to make this story your own.

Characterisation:

It was interesting seeing Jake as both a teenager and as an adult, and his various selfs gave the story an added dimension. By also having the narrative in first person, you really place the reader alongside your protagonist. But I found Jake a rather hazy figure in these, and I think you need to work on making him more distinctive and really getting under his skin. The reader has to feel completely aligned with him from very early on if they are to feel compelled to follow him on this journey from beginning to end. As I will mention in my notes on market below, I felt that Jake seemed quite immature in the scenes where he is a teenager, and I worry that you might distance adult readers. I think you need to focus less on making him seem like a convincing teenager and more on making him a distinctive and charismatic protagonist.

Some of your secondary characters felt rather underdrawn. For example, Bizwoz was quite a comical yet unbelievable character and I was unsure what his presence really added to the scene he was in? You class this novel as a thriller, and I think characters such as Bizwoz and Dr Luca need to be more enigmatic and mysterious, and not played for laughs.

Setting:

In these early pages, the setting wasn’t particularly vivid. In science fiction especially, it’s absolutely crucial that the imagined world feels realistic and is vividly depicted. You really need to conjure up this universe for the reader and transport them there. It needs to feel both familiar and alien. And as mentioned above, it’s important that your fictional world feels original and full of unique details that bring it alive.

Tone:

As I often tell aspiring writers, tone is one of the most important elements of a novel, but also one of the hardest to master. And unfortunately I felt that the tone of the novel wasn’t pitched quite right in places. It seemed to be quite comical in tone in some scenes, which actually diminished the sense of intrigue as well as the pace of the novel that was so wonderfully set up at the beginning. For example, the scene with Dr Luca and Bizwoz didn’t live up to its potential as the focus was on Bizwoz as an eccentric character and mining comedy out of that, rather than focusing on the intriguing case Dr Luca is talking about. This scene needs to be much tenser and have a greater feeling of urgency. I think the comedy really misfires in this scene and is unnecessary.

Synopsis:

I thought your synopsis was concise and succinct – well done.

Title:

While I liked the title and felt it tied in with the plot as well as giving a hint of what the novel might be about to a potential reader, I felt it was perhaps too close to the David Mitchell title Number 9 Dream. Plus the four digits actually make this quite a mouthful of a title and not particularly snappy or memorable. So this is something you may want to reconsider.

continues next post

This post was last edited by ProfessionalCritique, 22 Apr 2011, 12:33
ProfessionalCritique
 22 Apr 2011, 12:33 #115450 Reply To Post
Genre/Market:

Science fiction is quite a niche area of the commercial fiction market so if you want to appeal to a wider demographic and have that commercial crossover, it’s important that your story is accessible and compelling. And I thought you’d gone some way in achieving that. This is high-concept, futuristic science fiction, presented in a way that is accessible and engaging to a reader who might not be a hardcore SF fan.

My main question was what kind of age readership you were appealing to with this novel. At times it felt quite YA (young adult) whereas other times it felt like it was more directed at an adult reader. It’s important that you know and understand the readership you are writing for, as this really does dictate the tone and style of your novel. As I said before, if you’re aiming for YA with an adult crossover, I think you need to work on making Jake seem more mature and more distinctive in his teenage scenes if he is going to appeal to an adult reader.

Page-by-page notes:

Synopsis: your synopsis makes it seem like Jake wakes up in the hospital ward for the first time in chapter two, yet in the actual story, it seems like this place is familiar as he knows Yola and he knows the procedure. This seemed to contradict that.

p.4: ‘No way. Who would want such a dream? Let’s face it; that would be like watching a dead tramp slowly decomposing in the hot sun until there was nothing left of him but bones’ – not only does this make Jake sound very immature, it also feels like a tangential aside. Stay focused.

p.4: why is Jake about to slide into another dream when he has just come out of one? Is this what he does successively – experience dream after dream?

p.4: ‘Now I’m wide awake, ready for battle...’ – this paragraph felt rather melodramatic. The emotions feel forced as if Jake is overreacting. I think you need to make this exchange more intriguing and hint at something quite dark, rather than Jake just becoming petulant because he’s not getting what he wants.

p.5: ‘My childish trade has worn her down ... Yola will have none of it’ – contradiction.

p.5: ‘She looks older already’ – Why would she look older? This won’t make sense to the reader.

p.6: ‘You’ll soon get the feel of it’ – feel of what? Memory detection? And if so, how would Yola know this and wouldn’t Jake question that? Again, there needs to be more mystery and intrigue injected into this scene to keep the reader hooked and guessing.

p.6: ‘I have to admit that it frightens me more than spiders’ – again, makes Jake seem very childish, and it would be hard for an adult reader to relate to him as the protagonist here.

p.9: ‘amongst the buggery boys and the back-farters’ – this won’t make sense to the reader.

p.10: ‘I decide not to ask if she’s passed the purity test. Ha ha’ – this is lost on the reader as they don’t know what the test is.

p.13: ‘What if this, I mean our world, is a prototype of Dream World’ – this seemed like a rather unprovoked, giant leap in imagination. Why would Jake suddenly arrive at this seemingly outlandish conclusion? There need to be hints at this as the story progresses, not just the characters arriving at this conclusion unprompted, otherwise it doesn’t convince.

p.13: ‘Fuck you Mr Wise Guy!’ – seems like an exaggerated and unrealistic reaction. Try something more subtle here?

p.14: Bizwoz not only sounds like a made-up name but sounds like a character out of a children’s book.

p.14: ‘My veins turn into strings of ice’ – clunky description. Try something else here?

p.14: ‘In fact, they are a couple of dead fish. Strange I think. A man with fish hands’ – this doesn’t quite work here. Is the reader supposed to think he really does have fish for hands? And then presume that this must in fact be a dream? Jake just seems to brush over it so the significance is lost.

p.16: ‘laughs like a horse giving me a dentist-eye view of his mouths and his huge horse teeth’ – again, odd description. Feels like you’re going off on a tangent. Stay focused on what’s actually transpiring. If Jake’s attention is wavering, then the reader’s will be too.

p.17: ‘Alarms are sound in my head like sirens’ – a rather clichéd description. Try something else here?

Conclusion:

I hope these notes prove useful. As I have already said, I think the material so far marks a promising start. But attention needs to be paid to characterisation, plot and pace. With some polishing and developing as you go along, I’m sure you will be able to make this leap off the page. I wish you the best of luck in making that happen, and hope you continue to enjoy writing.

Best wishes

Natalie Braine
ProfessionalCritique
 22 Apr 2011, 12:34 #115451 Reply To Post
Professional mini critique for Peabody Flint by C S Abrahams

Congratulations on being well-rated by your peers at YouWriteOn. I enjoyed reading the early pages of your children’s novel. I thought it had a great opening – you really hooked the reader as well as quirkily introducing your main character. I also liked the knowing humour of the character which in turn influenced the tone of the novel. But at times the novel did start to verge on the pantomime-type comedy. It’s important that the humour feels natural rather than forced. Another area of concern was the structure. It felt quite meandering in these opening chapters, and I think you need to work on making it sharper and more focused.


Professional mini critique for I Know What It Is by Claire Whatley

Congratulations on being well-rated by your peers at YouWriteOn. I enjoyed reading your short story. Terminal illness is inevitably a difficult subject to write about, but the tone of this is pitched just right, although I did think there could have been a bit more poignancy and emotion to really explore what the characters are going through. It’s obviously quite dark and somber, but there are also flashes of humour and the connection between brother and sister is nicely depicted. While it wasn’t particularly insightful, it felt very true to life. And the unexpected ending gave your story an even darker edge, showing how arbitrary death can be – either drawn out and protracted or sudden and shocking.


Professional mini critique for A Small Earthquake in Sheffied by Daisy Sinclair

Congratulations on being well-rated by your peers at YouWriteOn. While I found your early pages interesting, I didn’t find them particularly accessible or gripping. You stated in the category description that this was a comedy, and it’s absolutely crucial that you hook the reader from the first page and pitch the comic tone just right, neither of which you did. One of the major problems with these early pages is that your protagonist isn’t distinctive or strong enough for the reader to want to follow her journey through to the end. I also found some of the comedy was quite laboured, rather than naturally developing from the material and the character interactions. I’m sorry not to be more positive, but I would advise you to consider join a creative writing group where you can get regular constructive criticism on your work.


Professional mini critique for Tales From Sitka-by-the-Sea by Marion G Harmon

Congratulations on being well-rated by your peers at YouWriteOn. I enjoyed reading the early pages of your Young Adult novel. It’s clear you’ve given a great deal of thought to the social/political context of the Kingdom of Alaska, and this really shines through in your writing. My main criticism would be that these opening chapters weren’t particularly accessible or gripping for a new reader. You seemed to focus too much on setting up the scene rather than dropping the reader into the unfolding drama. I also found that Meredith didn’t wholly convince as a protagonist. You really need to work on getting under her skin and opening her up to the reader. In short, you need to make her more distinctive and charismatic if the reader is to want to follow her journey through to the final page.
ProfessionalCritique
 22 Apr 2011, 12:35 #115452 Reply To Post
Orion Editor critique of THE LEOPARD-TOROISE

Dear Anthony

Congratulations on being selected for a professional critique by your writing peers at YouWriteOn. I enjoyed reading your early pages of THE LEOPARD-TOROISE and think that this marks a promising start. However, I think the material so far needs some re-working. What I hope these editorial notes will do is provide you with some useful pointers as to how you can hone and develop the existing chapters, and what to pay attention to as the novel progresses. I’ve also listed some page notes at the end with various queries as well as to illustrate some of my editorial points.

Structure:

The structure is the backbone of any novel, and if you have a sound structure, it will make your narrative flow better. While the structure is quite simple in that it was chronological and linear, you bring variation by alternating the chapters from the three main characters’ POVs (points of view), which works very well. But one thing to ensure is that areas of the plot aren’t repeated when you show from the different characters’ perspectives, as this will slow down the pace of your story.

A small point, but I found the ending of chapter one rather underwhelming, with the line ‘I think Mrs Sandford could actually have a sense of humour’. I think you need more of a hook here to get the reader wanting to turn the page to read more. In comparison, I thought the end of chapter two was much more dramatic and intriguing.

Plot:

The plot is also quite simple, but from reading these early pages and your synopsis, it seems the story will be full of drama and adventure. I liked that you opened the story in London, a landscape familiar to many young British readers, before dropping them in the middle of the exotic and strange Serengeti. The overarching strand of saving the school from the destruction of the poachers will be a tense and exciting storyline, while it seems there will also be sub-plots interwoven throughout, which should give your narrative more depth and texture.

While the siblings are working towards a common goal and are united in this, I think it’s important that their storylines feel individual and unique. They need to have their own personal concerns and own storylines too, and again, this will bring greater variance to the narrative. At present their individual strands felt too similar and interchangeable. And this links in with my notes on characterisation below.

The scene with the antelope was wonderfully done, and you really captured the characters’ awe. It will be moments like this that will really bring the story and setting to life.

Characterisation:

While I warmed to your characters in these early pages, I did feel that they needed some development. They’re not particularly distinctive and at present they feel like variations on so many other children’s book characters, and also too similar to each other. While there will of course be similarities and parallels as they are siblings and they are close in age, they also need to feel individual. I also felt there needed to be more development in the depiction of their relationship with one another. Their exchanges seem to consist of telling each other off or filling the others in on their day, and they felt rather ordinary and not entirely convincing.

At times the characters felt rather immature. They are 12, 13 and 14, yet could easily be much younger. I also didn’t feel like you really captured how a contemporary teenager would talk. Please see my page notes for specific examples.

Setting:

While setting is the backdrop of any story, in your book it should take greater precedence, as you really have to transport the reader to this unfamiliar landscape. Your average reader won’t have been to Tanzania, so you need to bring it alive and really immerse the reader in this world. And these early pages mark a promising start in accomplishing that. I did think more could be made of the opening chapter set in Putney, just so the extreme contrast becomes apparent in just how dramatically the children have left behind their comfortable lives. It should also align the reader more with your characters, as they’ll be more recognisable in that they will come from a similar background to many young readers.

Tone:

As I often tell aspiring writers, tone is one of the hardest elements of a novel to master, but also one of the hardest. If the tone isn’t pitched right, you can seriously compromise the reader’s engagement with the novel. And while generally the tone was consistent, there were some instances where I felt you were writing down to your reader, rather than on their level. It’s crucial that you narrative doesn’t seem overly didactic. You are trying to show readers that they should have a respect for and appreciation of wildlife and the environment, as well stressing the important of aid to developing countries. But this needs to be presented in a way that is still entertaining, and doesn’t feel like the reader is being taught a lesson in morals. Please see the page notes for specific examples. continues next post
ProfessionalCritique
 22 Apr 2011, 12:36 #115453 Reply To Post


Synopsis:

I thought your synopsis was succinct, to the point and neatly summarised the main events. It also gave a real indication of what sort of novel it was.

Title:

I thought the title was good – it’s intriguing, memorable and also captures the essence of the story. I also liked your previous titles – The Ant-Lion and The Elephant-Shrew. They are unexpected and almost oxymoron, and will really get the reader thinking.

Genre/Market:

In children’s fiction more than any other genre, you really have to understand your readership. You state that the book is aimed at 8-12 year olds, which is quite a wide demographic. For example, a novel that appeals to an 8 year old is unlikely to appeal to a 12 year old.

The siblings are 12, 13 and 14 years old. Generally, young readers like to read about characters their own age or slightly older. I worry that if you’re aiming to appeal to a reader as young as 8, they will be unable to identify with the much older characters (as Ellie would be six years older).

The fact that you are going to include illustrations and the rather simplistic chapter headings suggest this is aimed at quite a young readership. At present, I would have thought your story was more suited to 8-10 year olds, and I think the main characters’ ages are a little too old for this readership. I’m assuming that if you’ve already self-published the previous two and they were these ages or younger, this isn’t something you’ll necessarily be open to changing. But I do think this is something you need to consider, whether in this book or any future children’s novels you might write. My biggest piece of advice would be to read as widely in this area as possible, and to find out what books are selling well and are popular with certain age groups. This is really invaluable research and will set you in good stead going forwards.

Page-by-page notes:

p.2: Here, Mrs Sandford asks of Lucy ‘Did you put him up to this?’ about Craig, yet two pages later, she is saying she is going to fully support it. This seemed like a complete about-turn, as it seems like she’s given the idea a lot of thought, yet two pages ago she thought it was a joke. This didn’t quite convince.

p.7: ‘Whatever for?’ and ‘Stuff that!’ These are both Kal talking, and as I mentioned above, this didn’t really ring true for how a 13 year old would talk. They might say ‘What for’ but not ‘Whatever for’. Similarly, ‘Stuff that’ sounds like a very old-fashioned exclamation.

p.8: Would they really let Kal, a 13 year old, drive a jeep at high speed over rough terrain?

p.9: ‘But this was what it was all about; we’re now on our way to Majani Mazuri to see about setting up the new school’ – this felt a little forced, as if it was there for the reader’s benefit, rather than what Lucy would actually think.

p.11: The exchange that runs from ‘Isn’t Faru’s son the warden of the Serengeti’ to ‘That’s the one’ – again felt like it was there for the reader’s benefit, filling in the contextual background for them. Try to ensure that your dialogue feels fresh, original and realistic.

p.14: ‘Something else coming – what is it this time’ – felt like quite a laboured thought. Stay focused on the unfolding drama.

p.17: ‘Don’t be so rude’ – again, feels like what an adult would say to a child, not how a teen would talk.

p.17: The exchange about their dad’s villa in Spain seems like an odd aside. Every line and exchange needs to have a purpose, and I wondered what this was bringing to the narrative? It seemed like an unnecessary tangent.

p.19: ‘Nathan’s voice was deep and resonant – just like his father’s’ – does the reader know who his father is? I missed this if it was mentioned, so you might want to reiterate here.

Conclusion:

I hope these editorial notes have been helpful to you. As I have already said, I think the material so far marks a promising start. But attention needs to be paid to characterisation, as well as developing an understanding about your readership. As well as reading as much as you can, I also think you could benefit from feedback. Have you considered passing your work onto young readers to get their responses? This is a vital process that will ensure you are really engaging with your readers and their comments should help to shape your work and hone your storytelling. Whatever you choose to do, I hope you continue to enjoy writing and wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

Best wishes

Natalie Braine
Bushman
 22 Apr 2011, 16:39 #115463 Reply To Post
Dear Natalie,

Many thanks for your very thoughtful comments on Dream 3319. You have given me much food for thought and I now have a clearer picture of where to start my revisions.

Thanks very much once again.

Best wishes
Ian Harvey-Brown

hat
Quote: ProfessionalCritique, Friday, 22 Apr 2011 12:33
Orion Editor critique of DREAM 3319

Dear Ian Harvey-Brown

Congratulations on being well reviewed by your writing peers at YouWriteOn. I enjoyed reading your early pages of DREAM 3319 and think this marks a promising start. However, I think the material so far needs some re-working. What I hope these editorial notes will do is provide you with some useful pointers as to how you can hone and develop the existing chapters, and what to pay attention to as the novel progresses. My notes take the form of over-arching comments on the main elements of the novel, followed by various page notes to illustrate my points.

Structure:

The structure of your novel seems like it will be quite complex. Not only are their flashbacks, flashforwards and dream sequences, there is also the multi-layered nature of the story given that there are three levels of reality and dream. By having a structure this varied and textured, it should mean that the reader never tires of the main storyline. Rather than following the plot in a linear, chronological fashion, the time frame will jump about, and the plot will be revealed in fragments, much like a jigsaw puzzle. It is this piecemeal approach and gradual feeding of information to the reader that should keep them turning the pages to find out what happens.

Plot:

The story is high-concept and requires a great deal of suspension of disbelief on the behalf of the reader. And my concern was the story didn’t wholly convince me. You didn’t transport me in the way I’d hoped and instead I felt a little distanced from the narrative and from the main character. For example, there were quite a few plot areas that didn’t quite make sense to me as a new reader. Why are people’s dreams monitored rather than their waking actions? Why would the ‘state’ worry about people’s subconscious imagination? After all, what we dream about isn’t something we can control. There needs to be more detail surrounding this if it is to ring true. Also, if Jake is able to enter a dream without official sanction, what is the point of the Dream Maestro? I understand that some of this information will be interwoven as the story goes along and less is definitely more in these early pages, but it still needs to convince if the reader is to remain actively engaged.

The opening chapter was intriguing – you keep the reader guessing as to what is actually happening, and in this way they are actively involved as the drama unfolds. You are also particularly good at ending a chapter on a dramatic note that should have the reader turning the page wanting to know more. In comparison, the second chapter waned in pace and urgency. There was too much focus on describing the setting and providing the context. You need to focus on picking up the pace in this chapter if you are to keep the reader hooked. This scene felt too internalised and there was too much reflection. There needs to be more drama and greater intrigue.

It’s a strong premise but the execution felt quite weak in places. It was depicted in quite a superficial way and almost played for laughs, yet at the same time you class it as a thriller. You need to work at making this slicker, pacier and more urgent if this is to work as a thriller.

While I thought the story was imaginative and has a strong commercial hook, my other concern was that it might seem derivative, as there are of course close parallels with the recent film Inception. It’s important that your story seems original and fresh in its own right, and you really need to make this story your own.

Characterisation:

It was interesting seeing Jake as both a teenager and as an adult, and his various selfs gave the story an added dimension. By also having the narrative in first person, you really place the reader alongside your protagonist. But I found Jake a rather hazy figure in these, and I think you need to work on making him more distinctive and really getting under his skin. The reader has to feel completely aligned with him from very early on if they are to feel compelled to follow him on this journey from beginning to end. As I will mention in my notes on market below, I felt that Jake seemed quite immature in the scenes where he is a teenager, and I worry that you might distance adult readers. I think you need to focus less on making him seem like a convincing teenager and more on making him a distinctive and charismatic protagonist.

Some of your secondary characters felt rather underdrawn. For example, Bizwoz was quite a comical yet unbelievable character and I was unsure what his presence really added to the scene he was in? You class this novel as a thriller, and I think characters such as Bizwoz and Dr Luca need to be more enigmatic and mysterious, and not played for laughs.

Setting:

In these early pages, the setting wasn’t particularly vivid. In science fiction especially, it’s absolutely crucial that the imagined world feels realistic and is vividly depicted. You really need to conjure up this universe for the reader and transport them there. It needs to feel both familiar and alien. And as mentioned above, it’s important that your fictional world feels original and full of unique details that bring it alive.

Tone:

As I often tell aspiring writers, tone is one of the most important elements of a novel, but also one of the hardest to master. And unfortunately I felt that the tone of the novel wasn’t pitched quite right in places. It seemed to be quite comical in tone in some scenes, which actually diminished the sense of intrigue as well as the pace of the novel that was so wonderfully set up at the beginning. For example, the scene with Dr Luca and Bizwoz didn’t live up to its potential as the focus was on Bizwoz as an eccentric character and mining comedy out of that, rather than focusing on the intriguing case Dr Luca is talking about. This scene needs to be much tenser and have a greater feeling of urgency. I think the comedy really misfires in this scene and is unnecessary.

Synopsis:

I thought your synopsis was concise and succinct – well done.

Title:

While I liked the title and felt it tied in with the plot as well as giving a hint of what the novel might be about to a potential reader, I felt it was perhaps too close to the David Mitchell title Number 9 Dream. Plus the four digits actually make this quite a mouthful of a title and not particularly snappy or memorable. So this is something you may want to reconsider.

continues next post



Ian
clairewhatley
 23 Apr 2011, 06:07 #115480 Reply To Post
Ted,
Please also pass on my thanks to Natalie for a helpful mini critique. It's much appreciated.

Claire
nil desperandum
caz2108
 23 Apr 2011, 07:50 #115483 Reply To Post
Many thanks from me too!

Caz
rinkytink
 23 Apr 2011, 11:18 #115499 Reply To Post
Thanks from me for the mini-critique, thought provoking stuff.
"Tread softly - some people have bunions"
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