Many thanks for your excellent critique of "Flames of Herakleitos".
You highlighted a number of problem areas, some that have come to my attention by readers on the site and some which hadn't been spotted before.
Regarding the latter, the "Britain" characterisation being the weaker of the two, yes I agree and that is one area where I will be spending a lot of effort to redress.
Murphy being contemporary is another insight which I will have to pay attention to, I did some research on female inspectors before writing in her character and found that it was in 1932 that the first female was appointed to this position, however, I hadn't considered that they were segregated from their male colleagues so that is another something I will have to pay attention to.
The doctor's sermon on Lucy's condition is something I've already edited in my latest version (the guy doesn't know when to shut up!
The two harvestings being so close I hadn't noticed, again that will be looked at.
As you guessed, this is more or less a prologue into the story which only really starts when Lucy comes on the scene. She is the main character and the story revolves around her and the quest to avenge her father. Certainly I need to bring more flesh to her character, as you suggest, a little earlier on. She does flower later in the tale but I see she needs more work to garner the reader's sympathy and interest at an earlier stage.
All in all, quite a lot for me to look at, scary stuff, because this is only the first 10,000 words, I will have another 90,000 or so that have yet to see the light of day!
Thanks again for all your hard work,
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