Orion Editor Critique – Trigger Finger
Very very compelling opening, with a strong voice, although I worry that the trouble might come in marketing it to readers. I fear it would be complicated to make it clear that the book isn't just a low-brow revenge thriller (although clearly it is more than that) without giving away or at least hinting at the twist. The biggest problem from a publishing point of view would be making sure it wasn't sold as something it isn't. I have no major concerns with the text, although the synopsis does suggest that maybe there might be a few too many 'attacks' on your protagonist for the reader to find believable.
I've made a few tweaks to the text, and raised a few questions, but overall this is very clean. Slight concern, based on the synopsis, that the psychoanalysis scenes might go on too long/might be too may of them? But that would all come out in the writing. Also, it's too parochial at times. Mostly it works as a sort of every-USA town, but some bits are too specific. Something to watch out for. It's great to show realism, but if it puts the reader off it's not worth it.
Not sure how much of this has actually been finished, but I'd be more than prepared to pass it on to the Crime editor here when there was a completed MS, if the rest maintained the promise and was as polished as this.
This post was last edited by ProfessionalCritique, 26 Apr 2013, 02:14