I am happy to say that so far I have had two reviews done, and the reviews i have been given have been helpful and insightful!
To Mac, that was a very helpful review, i had been doing my own reviews and had noticed that my structure was sorely lacking. I have adjusted some what, but i think i will use those links you have given me to give me a better idea.
To Rose Hilton, thanks for seeing the sense of humour coming through! I guess i like to see my self with a pretty quick witted sense of humour and i want it to show through in my writing. I agree structure, and gramma and spelling is important, so I have gone back and restructured it a bit. I am sure i will edit again after i have done some more research.
I have only really been writing now for 3 months, so any hints and tips are very useful! i hope you enjoyed the story line as much as i am enjoying writing it!
So thanks for the help and guidance!!